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For some, the holiday season is bittersweet. Whether it’s your first holiday season after the loss of a loved one, you’ve recently had a break-up, you’re losing sleep over giving the best gifts for your significant other’s family or you’re just trying to navigate your way through hosting, the holidays can be pretty stressful. Here are a few tips to help you keep your sanity and hopefully enjoy the holiday season instead of dreading it.
Set Realistic Expectations: Avoid the pressure to create a “perfect” holiday. You might even go as far as to invite imperfection (i.e. assemble your own dessert bar, potluck gatherings, etc). Set manageable goals and accept that things may not go exactly as planned.
Stick to a Budget: Financial stress can increase during the holidays. Set a budget for gifts, travel, and gatherings, and focus on thoughtful rather than extravagant choices. Consider alternative dates for travel or personalized hand-made gifts. I even knew a database administrator that always volunteered to work the holidays and then took his extended vacation immediately afterwards. Work was less stressful with less people there and his post – holiday travel and gift giving tasks were less stressful.
Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for rest, exercise, and hobbies that help you recharge. Even consider doing this when everyone else is fighting in the stores for last-minute gift ideas. Even small self-care moments, like a walk or a few minutes of deep breathing, can make a difference.
Practice Mindfulness: Stay present by using mindfulness techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or focusing on sensory experiences. This can help you manage holiday stress.
Limit Alcohol and Sugar: Excessive alcohol and sugary foods can impact mood and energy levels. Enjoy them in moderation to avoid the post-indulgence slump… and weight gain.
Set Boundaries: Be mindful of overcommitting to social gatherings or family obligations. I generally pick a couple of events to attend each year. I’m conveniently traveling or are otherwise engaged during the others. Politely decline invitations if you need time for yourself. And remember, you don’t have to offer an explanation. Just say, “I’m sorry. I won’t be able to make it, but thanks for thinking of me.” Period.
Seek Support: If you’re feeling overwhelmed or lonely, talk to a friend, family member, or mental health professional. I generally recommend that everyone have a therapist, especially if you’ve experienced recent loss. This time of year, we tend to need more support. So get assistance early so you are trying out someone new in the time when you really need a established presence on your support team. Support groups are also a useful resource. Try searching online or asking your therapist for reputable groups they can recommend.
Make Time for Exercise: Physical activity boosts mood, reduces stress, and increases energy. Even a short daily workout or walk can lift your spirits. I often recommend gym work outs during the holiday season for a few reasons. 1. Working out helps to burn calories that often get consumed in excess during the holidays. 2. It’s less crowded in the gyms. 3. Get a head start on the mad dash to the gym after the first of the year when everyone else is making their run at a New Year’s resolution. 4. Endorphins help you feel better and think more clearly. And someone taking care of their body is less likely to harm it. 5. You might meet someone with similar values to help you through this time, and possibly beyond.
Focus on Gratitude: Reflecting on the positive aspects of life can counteract stress and anxiety. Try writing down a few things you’re grateful for each day. Gratitude is the antidote for self pity.
Plan Breaks from Social Media: Comparing your holiday to others’ online can lead to stress and sadness. Take breaks from social media to focus on your own experiences and reduce pressure. If you really must share on social media, wait until after the holidays and do a photo dump. Waiting helps you to be present in your own life while it’s happening.
Connect with Loved Ones: If you’re unable to physically be with family or friends, make an effort to reach out through phone calls or video chats. Try cooking a family recipe with the virtual guidance of your family from afar. Connection helps reduce loneliness and you might learn a new skill in the process.
Be Kind to Yourself: Acknowledge that it’s okay not to feel joyful 100% of the time. Embrace your feelings, whether they’re positive or challenging, without judgment.
Consider a New Tradition: Sometimes, it’s just too painful to do the holidays as you have in the past. In that case, consider a new tradition. Maybe travel to an exotic locale or a Friendsgiving gathering may help. Get into online games or activities that don’t shut down for the holidays for a healthy activity.
Non-Human Holiday Companion: Pets can be excellent companions, but if you’re not serious about adopting a pet and you like animals, try pet sitting for a friend that may be traveling. If taking care of living creatures isn’t your thing, you can also try AI companionship. While this is a relatively new technology, conversing via text with AI as if it were a person could help with the loneliness and may be worth a shot if other options don’t work for you.
Try these techniques to lighten emotional load for the holidays. And remember to check on your friends and family. They may need reminders on how to protect their health during the holidays too.
Be well.
